I have a special treat for you today. With Valentine’s Day approaching, what better subject to talk about then relationships. Now let me introduce to Munir Bello who is has written a guest on, you guessed it, it’s about relationships.
Let me share a bit about Munir Bello. Munir was born in Nigeria and moved to England at the age of 10. He went to school in Sussex and then University in Essex. He currently lives alone in Maida Vale, London. His first book is called, “The Break Up Recipe” which has become an underground success and is continuously growing. He has plans to write further books on a variety of subjects.
Now that you know all that, I’ll let Munir take it from here.
My Take On Relationships
Having written a book on relationships, it has now become a subject that I find myself discussing with friends, family and strangers on a regular basis. The most frequently discussed topic is the perfect match. Everyone wants to know my take on relationships.
Singletons the world over have a list of requirements that their partner must fulfill in order to be deemed suitable. These requirements are based on
1) Looks (always the top of the list regardless of how many times I hear people say that it’s not all about looks).
2) Sense of humour (UK) aka humor (USA).
3) Good Job (give someone enough to drink and this particular subject can take a turn from very interesting to incredibly bizarre)
4) Shared interests
To go into every single thing that people request of their partners would take a fair bit of time so we’ll just stick to 4. I once listened to a person list and expand on 42 requirements they have for a partner and that was very boring. Not surprisingly that person is still single and still working on a list of requirements that their partner must fulfill.
1) Looks: As mentioned above, everybody says, “Looks aren’t important but if they’re good looking it helps. I don’t want anyone too ugly”
My take: Get real people! The first thing that you see when someone walks into a room is their face and the other essential body parts that are attached with it. You might not base a future marriage on the first sighting (some of you do) but it plays a part in the initial attraction process. I can honestly say that no friend of mine has ever said, “Who’s that guy with the brilliant personality across the room?” or “I bet that girl that walked in the room has a big heart, I’d love to explore her personality better”. Whilst looks aren’t everything, they clearly play a part in the initial attraction and that is a point that cannot be denied.
2) Sense of humour (UK) humor (US): “I want a guy who can make me laugh but who can also hold a serious conversation” or “I like funny girls who don’t take themselves too seriously”
My take: I am yet to have met someone who is funny all the time but amazed by the amount of people who feel the need to remind their prospective partner that they can only be part time funny and part time serious (but not too serious). Laughter is always a good thing. Be prepared for the fact that you won’t always laugh at the same jokes which isn’t a bad thing. Just means that you’re two different people as opposed to clones of each other.
3) Good Job: “I want someone rich so we can do whatever we want”
My take: Traditionally this has been a request that females would make. They wanted a man who could provide stability and a little bit of extra money to support their shopping habit. However there is now a new breed of man who wants to get a career woman or a sugar mummy who takes care of all his needs. This particular type of man is on the rise. Women with good careers and cash reserves are now just as sought after as rich men. I think this is excellent for equal opportunities and only time will tell how this pans out. The men I know who’d make requests like this were once very quiet about it but recently are very vocal. I guess it helps that they have more brothers in arms to shout it from the rooftops with.
4) Shared interests: “I want to be able to do everything together”
My take: Similar to sense of humour/humor, it would be very tricky to find someone who is in complement agreement with all your opinions whilst also sharing your exact hobbies. My theory is that it is more likely to happen in same sex relationships than it is in hetero relationships. The opposite sexes will not always see eye to eye on everything but that is not a problem. It’s healthy to still be able to do things with your friends that you wouldn’t be able to do with your partner because they have no interest in it.
Overall: Expectations should be in line with your achievements. For those who are single and picky, it’s not a bad thing at all to have expectations of your partner but if your expectation is too high you are doomed to fail. I am genuinely surprised by the amount of people who have certain expectations of what they want of their partner but do not measure up to the standards they have set. This is particularly true in the looks and job department. Some people want someone very attractive when they themselves are average looking. Some want someone with an amazing job and lots of money when they have an ok job that doesn’t pay much. It’s important that you practice what you preach or you might end up disappointed (or single for a long time).
So there you have it, my take on relationships.
So what is your take on relationships? Do you have a fun story? Please share, we’d love to hear.
Wow was’t that cool. Drop a note about “My Take On Relationships” and let us know what you think. Oh, and don’t forget check out his book on Amazon.
Life’s journey continues…