I cannot believe it has been another week. I have been very busy with my visiting family, my step daughter and our grand children. This is the first time in a VERY long time where I have had the change to spend quality time with them without encumbrances and distractions. I have greatly enjoyed just hanging out with them. It is said that it is the little things that we remember the most. In this case I would agree. Last night we had dinner at home. We made homemade pizzas. It sounds kind of boring but I have had so little of that (the boring part) in my life that it was a lazy kind of fun. These kind of times give you a chance to really get to know your family, what they think, where their head is at this time in their life, what makes them happy and the kind of people they have turned out to be. The trick is to relax, listen and just pay attention, be in the moment.
I know you are probably wondering why I am telling you this. Well, the fact is this is the first time in a very long time that I was relaxed enough to really be “there” (be present) in body, mind and spirit. It was wonderful. I am not going to go into all that I learned about my family, suffice it to say that my family is amazing and each individually are unique and special people. I am lucky.
As my journey progresses I am realizing that I am letting go of things that I once thought were important. I am much more relaxed. I am more aware of my surroundings and the beauty of this world. This all gives way to a better life. I still worry about “stuff” but not as much. I still wonder, as we all do, what my purpose is but without the constant urgency to find it “right now”. I realize that as I quiet my mind I am better able to see things more clearly and that my purpose will show itself in due time. I am learning to be more patient with myself and that translates into a better, healthier life style. I am aware that I will slip back to my old ways from time to time but my hope is that even that will diminish with time.
There is an old saying that I have used when talking to others about myself or in reference to something they are doing. That saying is “The hurrieder I am the behinder I get”. I get what that means now. If we push so hard to get to a place, accomplish a task or goal we greatly impede our ability, and others, to get there in a timely manner or not allow ourselves to get there at all. I always thought that it was about going from one place to another in a car, plane or other modes of transportation. What it really means is we get in our own way in life and block ourselves from seeing what is right in front of us. It also means we slow ourselves down from enjoying life, or worse, preventing our enjoyment of life. We are so busy trying to “get there” that we miss many obvious and wonderful opportunities along the way. These missed opportunities can never be recovered. Therefore it is very important to be present, in the moment if you will, as we live each day of our lives. If I do this I now know that opportunities will be revealed on many levels and I will be able to see and recognize them when they appear. I realize doing this will not always be easy but it is so very worth the effort. I do know that I do not want to get in my own way any more. It is painful, futile and lacking of joy.
I am still working on the 3 Steps. I find this really helps me focus on what it is I really want and to enjoy my life along the way. Because I am a gardener I will end this with what I see in my minds eye. I feel like a flower that is late in blooming but is now starting to unfold.
The journey continues ….